Blue Spring

1. 
   
   
2. The light blue sky....
   Comforts and soothes my sensibility
   The deep blue sea...
   Stabilizes my mind's tranquility
   
   
   The baby wrapped in blue...
   Makes me realize life's durability
   The rock star singing the blues ...
    Exposes my soul's vulnerability
   
   
   The chirping of blue jay...
   Wants me to be a garden gnome
   The blue bonnet strewn land...
   Gravitates me like my home

Go Green

Go green, be green
New slogan take the stand
Hype to buy everything green
Sales rocket up in sky.

Profit, Profit , profit
Makes few pockets green!



Wake up! See around you
Touch green, feel green
Not with jealousy,
but with pride.

It's heaven on earth
if you conserve green
and let it be 
as it is meant to be!

It's about time

Clock is ticking
Stopping for none
Every thought, deed, action
Is recorded.

As each passing moment
slips in the ocean of life
It ticks me off
And I sit and think.

Hold, grip, grasp the time
I am in a happy place
Family, friends,
Let me be.

But, I, the being, born on time..
Struggled time after time
And in time I will know
Living is not lost time.

And I wait for the day..
When it will be about time...

Old friends

Old friends, old times
Lost in the sounds of life...
Preoccupied,indifferent,engrossed
In the daily routine.
Thoughts are piled
With each passing moment
Searching for the purpose of being
In the present time.

Yet, my dear friends,
You are remembered.
You are missed.
You are thought of.
You are in my mind.
Not forgotten, 
Just burried in memories...

Hijab - A symbol of modesty

Covering myself from head to toe,

I peep and see the world go slow.

In the name of God, I wore a Veil,

For Honor and Modesty should prevail.

I succumbed though my bosom hurt,

My tears hidden I became introvert.

I am a woman, a girl, I thought,
Yet mirror gives the reflection distraught?

I bury the softness of my skin,
I curtain my feeling and lower my chin.
I disguise my true self till I become pale,
I shield my flesh from the predatory male.

Yet, I become a prey to the hungry eyes
My body is sucked and destroyed
I stand in veil helpless, stoned to death,
Praying to God even in my last breath.

- Through my eyes...

Valentine's Day

     

   That was our first valentine.  Nothing seemed special.  Lazily we got up, made tea and coffee for ourselves, sat in the balcony and discussed about the world in general as we sipped our hot beverages.  The sun was bright and up and all the people from the building looked busy and were trying to finish their chores.  Right across from our balcony, we could see the maid sweeping the floor of our neighbor's house.  She caught a glance of me and gave a smile and with gestures informed me that she will come to our house after her work was done in the neighbor's house.  I smiled back at her and nodded my head.   My husband, looked at me and slyly commented, "you bond really well with the maid." I twitched and opened my eyes wider and gave him the glare like telling him to stop teasing.  Well, to tell the truth, the maid and I were absolutely made for each other.  She didn't understand my language and I didn't understand hers.  Yet, she would understand what exactly I wanted her to do.  Our chemistry was just great.  She would skip my neighbor's house and tell her that she was sick but wouldn't miss even a day of work at my place.  My husband teased me saying that maybe she didn't know how to gesture and tell me that she wanted a day off.  And I argued that I took good care of her.  Well, I did make it a point to give her breakfast and tea everyday and some days she would even take it for her family.  Mostly because I was new to cooking and I would make in abundance and I would offer her whatever was left.  But then, this generosity also helped me get the real feed back of my cooking skills.  She would gesture and tell me to add some more salt or pepper or chilli.  Some days she would even come early and show me how to make some breakfast items.  I would just stand and see while she cooked breakfast for us.  My husband would come and whisper in my ears, "maybe she wanted to eat good food today."   Anyways, there was an unique bond between us and I just loved her for helping me out in my daily chores.

    By that time I had finished my tea. Holding the empty cup, I was turning the pages of the newspaper when the door bell rang.   I glanced at my husband, he was still sipping his coffee.  Well, it must be the maid, I thought.  I got up and opened the door.  It was not the maid! A man stood there with a large bouquet of roses. "Yes", I said.  "For you Ma'am." and he started handing me the bouquet. Bewildered, I took a step back, and said, "Well, you came to the wrong house.  We didn't order any bouquet."  The man wearing a decent dress, put his hand in his shirt's pocket, took out a small sheet of paper and asked me, " Is it building number ## and apartment number ##  Ma'am?  I said "Yes".  "Then this is for you Ma'am," he said.

Still very sure that there was some mistake, I asked the delivery man to show me the the sheet and the address.  He gladly obliged and then he also told me to look at the card that came along the bouquet and check my name.  

     It was my name and my address but my mind was still confused as who would have sent it to me.   I took the card from the bouquet and there it read , "From your loving husband...."  I was totally surprised!!  I looked back and there stood my hubby smiling and wickedly giggling at my expression.  I didn't know how to react.  It was the first time I had received such a beautiful surprise  in my entire life.  I stood there motionless while my husband tipped the delivery man and closed the door.  By this time, I had started blabbering that I felt like a movie star.  I had seen such surprises only in movies and had never expected anybody to shower me with so much love.  "100 red roses", he said "Each rose for every year I want to spend my life with you."   It was like a movie. I was speechless, shocked, happy, full of all kinds of emotions. I gave a him big bear hug and  for the first time in my life I could FEEL a day.  The door bell rang again.  This time my husband opened the door and there was our maid.  She came in and took the broom out and started sweeping the floor.  I went to the kitchen to prepare breakfast and my husband started getting ready to go to his work.  Everything was going on as routine yet I could feel my heart skip beats and hum its own tune.  We had our breakfast and my husband left for work.  The maid finished all the cleaning and chores while I got ready to go out.  Finally, locked the door behind and I headed out for the day.  All the time, I was dreaming.  I wasn't aware what are going on.  Everything felt so mechanical.  By afternoon, I was unlocking the door to get in the house.  As I was stepping in, my neighbor called me from behind.  By the way, my neighbor was the sweetest soul I had ever known.  She was like a big sister to me.  She always looked out for me and would always make things easier for me.  She would sometimes even get vegetables for me when she went to vegetable market.  She was the only person I knew in that new city and we would chat for hours sitting on our door steps and discussing lots of nothings and gossiping.  

    So, when I saw her.  I told her all about my husband's surprise valentine day's gift.  I think I might have gone on and on for at least half an hour while she kept listening and smiling and being happy in my happiness.  When I had nothing else to say we just stared at each other, smiling.  Then finally, she said, " You know it is your first year of marriage.  So, I am not surprised that your husband gave you roses.  All the men are like that.  First five years of marriage they try to make you happy and please you but as days goes by everything fades.  You enjoy your days while it lasts."  "What do you mean?" I asked.  "Well, we will talk about it after 5 years.  You will then know what exactly I meant."  I wasn't quite sure what she meant by that but I was no longer flying in the sky in the dreamy world.  I was shown the reality of love in life on the day that was meant for love!  That day, I made promise to myself that I will count the years and see if my husband indeed meant 100 roses for 100 years or was it just a phase in life.

       Next year, second Valentine approached.  I kept a low profile and low expectations.  We were in a different country by then.  Everything had changed. The place was new, I had some new friends, everything was different.  My husband came home from work that evening and was trying to hide something from me.   When I tried to peek, he handed me a small basket with two mugs with hearts print on it and couple of roses that were neatly decorated in the basket.  I was overjoyed.  Well, three more years!!  I thought to myself.  Hiding my insecurities, I gave him a big smile and a warm hug.  The following year, he got a lovely card for me. "From a big bouquet, to a gift hamper, to a simple card...I sighed! I think it won't even last for 5 years!!"  Still thankful that he thought of me I opened the card, read the lovely lines (written by somebody else) and smiled and gave him a hug for being thoughtful.  As the fourth Valentine started approaching, I started getting jittery.  I didn't know what to expect and I was getting myself mentally prepared to receive a simple wish.   I didn't let him know my feelings and I waited.  And sure enough, it was 14 th Feb again and he woke up and wished me "Happy Valentine's Day V"  As I was mentally prepared, I accepted the wishes and smiled back.  At least he remembered it was Valentine's Day! I thought.  But, to my surprise he came home with a box of chocolates.  Hmm. it is still the 4th year, my devil mind thought.  

   Now, the dreaded fifth year was approaching... I was trying to show as if Valentine day is just like any other day.  "Oh, I don't believe in materialist presents", I told him one day.  But deep in my heart I wanted him to get me something as materialistic as possible, just to prove my sweet neighbor wrong.  As the day started approaching, my heart started sinking.  By this time, our daughter had become our main priority and I was pretty sure that celebrating Valentine's Day was the least of our priorities.  We had so many other responsibilities that Valentine Day would just be like any other day.  I kept acting like Valentine's Day didn't matter to me.  "It is just a day, like any other day." I told myself.  "I love him and he loves me and that is the only thing that matters." I tried to console myself.  Finally, the day came.  He got up, went to office.  "He didn't even wish me!"  I thought.  The whole day went by and I just tried to divert myself any ill feelings and thoughts that came to my mind.  Evening he came home.  We had dinner.  As I was cleaning the kitchen, my daughter shouted , "Surprise" in her cute, sweet little voice.  I turned and saw both father and daughter holding a card and a wrapped box.  I was taken aback.  I couldn't stop smiling.  I read the card filled with lovely words, then slowly, I opened the wrapper and was stunned to see what my husband had got me!! Oh dear! It was expensive! Well, that year, it would not have mattered even if he had got me a painted rock.  The five year mental bond was getting over!  I was plain happy that even after 5 years I could tell some exciting story to my neighbor if ever I met her again.  

   Today is 16th year of togetherness.  I just know, like every year, rain or shine, be it a single rose from the gas station, or a dinner at a restaurant, or simple cooking together in our kitchen, we will be there for each other if not a 100 years but at least this lifetime.

   HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY!

Fallen Women

As Venus bestows its grace
Upon the woman in human race
Makes her strong yet affectionate
Builds her benign and compassionate
Molds her with beauty and dignity
Prepares her to carry on the human fraternity
A Goddess on earth
Unparalleled loving soul...

With laughter as sweet as bell
Unaware she walks the realm of hell...
A beast waiting for hunt
Stealthily makes his move
He attacks her with no clue
Hits her black and blue
Reaches her body and rips apart
Her beauty, her grace, her soul...

Defenseless she cries for help
Wounded and hurt she yells
Another passerby looks at her, a jerk
Joins the demon with a smirk
Like scraping the plate of the last grain
Scraped her body, licked her mane
Unconscious she lay on the floor
Praying God would open his door...





(Picture from google search)

A New Day

Why does the moon 
Look so dull today? 
Why does the stars 
Look so far away? 

I reach with my arms stretched 
I push up with my toes anguished 
I pull my body wretched 
My whole being feels languised... 

I cried and the tears have dried 
The emptiness resurfaced 
I searched everywhere 
Yet you seems to the farthest.. 

Suddenly, 
A bird tweeted in the early hours 
The red sky killed my gloomy bars 
I now see a ray of Sun 
Peeping through the tree 
I can see you I can feel you 
Now my turbulant mind is free... 

It's a new day..  

What is Love?

What is love? 
The morning dusk 
The  noon's heat 
The evening's husk 
Or the night's feat?  

What is love? 
The early dew 
The noon's bright sun 
The evening hue 
Or the night's fun?  

What is love? 
The morning chirping of bird 
The noon's search for shade 
The evening return to herd 
Or the midnight lust and trade? 

What is love? 
The holding of hands 
The soft kiss on the cheeks 
The taking your stands 
Or knowing what the heart speaks?  

What is love?  
Intimacy, warmth, fondness 
Affectionate, caring, commanding 
Tenderness, lust, sweetness 
What is it? 
It is beyond my understanding!! 


Photo from google search.

I always need you

When I was a baby 
I needed help to eat... 
When I was a toddler 
I needed help to greet... 

When I was adolescent 
I needed support to improve my talk.. 
When I was adult  
I needed support to be my rock... 

In midlife 
I needed counsellors' guidance 
In old age 
I needed a friend for balance 

In every step of my life 
All your help in my heart I engrave 
I owe you people... 
For even in my death 
I needed you to carry me to my grave... 

Beautiful Mind

Mind is a trickster 
It plays with you and me. 
One moment I am prankster 
Next moment I am free. 

It make me feel alone 
It make me feel cramped 
In minute in love I am blown 
In minute in life I am trapped. 

Mind is the controller 
Of everybody's emotions 
Mind is the remote 
Of all our notions. 

Mind is the ocean vast 
It makes us clutter 
It makes us cry last 
And makes our heart flutter. 

Mind is beautiful 
Mind is nasty 
Mind is cruel 
Mind is feisty. 

Make your mind your slave 
Control your beautiful mind 
Turn the mind's wave 
And think positive. 

The Judgement Day

I wake up with so many thoughts
Amazing, complicated, dreamy
Some fantasy, some reality
Complexity of human nature
Blurring my clear vision
Thinking of what lies today...

My heart pounding with anxiety
Loud noise blaring in my ears
Feeling a hurl in my stomach
As the feeling of loneliness 
Seeps through the nerves
I think of what awaits today...

Sheepishly I drag myself out of bed
Nauseated my eyelid feel heavy
Anticipating the worst outcome
Delirious with anxiety 
My legs start shivering
Thinking of what I will foresee today... 

Pining for the days gone by
Wishing the time would halt
Hoping I had done it different
Desiring a new beginning
Wanting to do things right
To be undaunted on
The Judgement Day...

Life is Beautiful

Admist hills he resides

Pure air he breaths

Nature at his feet

Merciful Almighty.

I sin

I con 

I bluff

I frown.

Now I begin my journey 

Asking forgiveness 

Knocking the doors

Of the Almighty.

I thought...

I will purge

I will surrender 

I will confess

I will become one with him.

On his feet

I will fall...

With my tears 

I will wash..

His holy feet

With care I plan far

I book an AC car
hotel for night halt

Rest areas for food and malt.

I take leave from work

Pack my luggage

My powder, my lipstick

My slippers, my baggage...

As I plan my path

To forgiveness...

I forget that Almighty

Has plans for me...

Before I could reach him

He reaches to me..

The mountain slides...

Buries me in mud...

And I am one with Him.

Life is Beautiful...

Life cycle of human being.

Sometimes I wonder why human are so engrossed in petty things that they miss out on bigger things of life...

From birth I am selfish
I want attention
I need care
I seek love
I demand my comfort.

As I grow I start walking
I get hurt
I bleed
I learn new things
Yet, I demand my comfort.

Time passes and I bloom in youthfulness
I am energetic
I brag about the new era
I am confused
And still, I demand my comfort.

Mid life hits hard and self doubt starts
I feel lonely
I feel unsuccessful
I feel the need to achieve even more
More than ever, I demand my comfort.

End comes near
I sit and remember
I brag about my half faded past
I need support
And I demand all the comfort in the world.

The human life cycle ends
Thinking for himself
During his life
He destroys the world around
To make himself comfortable??

Monkey Costume

Material used - Felt (cocoa/ brown and tan color)

Wire - for tail

Cotton - stuffing the tail

Needle and thread

Measure the length from shoulder to knee. 

Measure the shoulder width and keep 2 inches more

Cut the brown color cloth shoulder width and double the length.

Fold it into half and cut the neck in the middle.

Cut a long brown color band for the belt.

 And stitch the belt on top of the front side.

Stitch the belt to the front side.

Cut a circle with tan color felt and stitch it on top of the belt.

Cut a rectangle brown felt.  Fold and stitch the open side together.  Leave one side open.  Turn inside out and stuff it with cotton.  Put the wire in it and bend it accordingly.

Wire

Tail with stuffing and wire

Stitch the end together to close the opening

Stitch the tail to the back side 

This is how it will look from back.

From front

Now for ears.  Fold the brown felt in half and draw the shape of an ear.  Cut and stitch the open ends.

Cut a slit 

Turn it inside out.

Cut tan color felt ears and stitch it on the brown ears.

Put your finger in so that you stitch just one layer of brown felt.

Take a small rubber band.

Put it inside the slit of the ear

And stitch

Now stitch both the ends together closing the slit.

Make the other ear too!!

Put it on.

Back view of the full monkey costume.

Wear a brown shirt and pant under the costume and paint the face and the little monkey is ready!!

The Seed

In pod
Safe, secure, self- asserting,
Protected, free from danger
In the womb of heaven.
Unaware of the predators
Lurking around, I lay comforted.

Dreaming away
Smiling, laughing, giggling,
Kicking, bouncing, turning
Glowing in the dark pod.
Unaware of the dangers
Lurking around, I lay comforted.

Unexpectedly, I mature
I break the pod 
Blue sky, green leaves, white flowers
Beautiful nature I see
Unaware of the imperilment
 I feel the warmth.

Wanting to explore
I fall on the ground
Fierce wind blows me away
Thrilled with excitement
Covered in dirt I lay
Unaware, I feel safe.

Suddenly I start trembling
I see blue sky turning red
The beautiful world changes
Into a dark, horrifying place
And an insect crawls next to me
Now aware of the danger I shiver.

I close my eyes, I pray
Save me, let me not be a prey
Let me spread my root
Let me live O Lord
Let me grow and make fruit
I am the seed, the future.

Woman

Strong, powerful yet sensitive
Composed, poised yet vulnerable
Bold, courageous and daring
Yet the victim!

With blood she nurishes
In arms she nurses
From soul she nurtures ...
not knowing it's a beast... 

Like parasite it drinks the blood
Like paralysis it numbs the body
Like Mayan eagle it eats the heart
As a prey she succumbs...

Tortured, tormented
Killed in the womb
Taken advantage, invaded
Raped to the core...

The conceiver, the creator
The maker, the woman
Incapacitated, helpless
Feeling ill and hopeless....




Image from goolge image