Wounded Soul

To cure from within 
I open my wounded heart
And now I bleed black

Digging inner self
Hurting all over again
Tears flow in my words

 Nothing did I wrong
Yet it haunts, taunts, and scares me
And I bleed in pain

Like arrow it's piercing
I ask my internal soul
What is bothering?

Contentment said soul
Gladness, gratification
Fulfillment is peace.



(In haiku)

Exploring destiny

     

   I always wondered if the lines on the palm meant something.  Does it predict one's future?  Can it tell about one's past?  Being born in a family of astrologers I was raised to believe that astrology is a science.  Each planet position has an affect on human being and human behavior.  In fact the predictions are based on scientific facts and calculations, and are not just guess work.  Now, does that mean that the astrologers know what will happen to them?  Can they predict each and every moment of their life?  Hmmm hard to say.    Some good astrologers do predict what the future holds.  So, this lead me into another methods used for predicting one's future.  Palmistry.  How much can a palm predict and how accurate can the lines tell about one's future?  This has been a subject that captivated my interest from a very young age.  I read couple of palmistry books and tried my then newly acquired skills on my friends and relatives.  Some of my predictions came true.  By the way, I have no clue how they came true.  I think it was just coincidence.  Anyhow, that was when I was young and curious to know my own future.  At that age who doesn't want to have a sneak peek of future?  As if palmistry was a time machine and took me into the future, I seriously measured the lines on my palm and predicted couple of things about my future.  I felt confident about my predictions. After all, I had read it in a book so how could a book be wrong!  However, you should be a good reader to comprehend the book as the author meant it to be, to be able to make 100% correct predictions.  
   I blindly believed that the future is in our hands.  In this case, it is hidden in the lines of our palm.  Contrary to my mind set, one time I saw a picture of an accident in the newspaper.  It was a picture taken after the bomb blast.  All the people in the picture were killed in the blast and pieces of their body parts were scattered around.  In that gruesome picture, what caught my attention was a palm.  A man whose palm was wide open facing upwards while his young body was crushed and unrecognizable.  I took a closer look at the palm.  The open palm showed a very long life with hardly any obstacles in life.  That picture got me thinking.  How was that possible?  It was against all the rules of the book.  He didn't even look like he had crossed his twenties.  It was impossible for a man with this palm to die!  I was confused, baffled and perturbed.  I couldn't believe what I saw.  The whole science of prediction started fading in front of my eyes.      Can anybody predict the lines of the palm?  Is palmistry reliable?  Is it possible to explore lines to know the destiny?  Well, at least the man who died in the accident, knows that nobody can be sure about their destiny!

Do not dwell in the past, do not dream of the future, concentrate the mind on the present moment. 

- Buddha


(google image)

My mind is ruled by my body

  

"Health is the greatest possession."

   Sometimes I feel that the physical health of a person reflects on the mental health.  Off late, the season change  has effected my physical being.  Fever, cold, allergy -  things that limited my physical activities.  When I had fever, my body refused to get out of the bed.  I slept almost the whole day.  When I had cold, my nose got stuffy and so did my brain.  I could not think.  I felt like my brain was blocked with my nose.  With allergies, I sneezed my heart out.  So, even though I stayed home all the days when I was sick and had a lot of time to myself, it didn't occur to me to write my thoughts down.  Well, I didn't have any other thoughts than the thought of speedy recovery. I just yearned to feel better.  It was in one of these days that I realized that I am capable of bearing a lot of mental stress but I am incapable of bearing physical pain.  My mental stress didn't effect my physical self  the way my physical being affected my mental state.  My mind is ruled by my body.   As my nose still feels stuffy and the allergy medicine is wearing off, I am starting to feel that my brain has gone on a strike.  I read the news but nothing is absorbed by my brain.  I browse the net but nothing seems to interest me.  I flip the photos yet my mind refuses to function.  So on that note, I end here and wait for the day for my heart to start pumping blood directly to my brain like it did before my sinuses flared up due to allergens. 

What does each color band mean?

These days there is a huge craze for color wrist bands. The plastic bands never appealed to me but being from the country where it is common for girls to wear different color bracelet either metal or glass at all ages, made me start thinking why the school authorities, especially some teachers were against the teenagers flashing their colorful wrist band.  Why are they disapproving the beautiful multicolored bracelets? They looked okay to me.  So, that got me started to research more about the bands.  What does each color band mean?   Each has different engraving, different color but about the same width. Does the engravings make it different from one another?   I had an idea that the band were introduced to support a cause. The first one that comes to my mind is the yellow silicon gel bracelet that was introduced for fund raising for the Lance Armstrong Foundation for the cure for cancer.  Later that year it became "the fashion item" for Americans and  it didn't take much time to spread its popularity in other countries too. Before anybody could realize, it became viral worldwide.  So, does yellow bracelet stand for support for the cure for cancer?  After a bit of browsing I was shocked to find what different color of bracelet meant.  Well, yellow bracelet with "Livestrong"  engraving still stands for support for cancer.  However, just a yellow wrist band indicates the wearer is open to give a hug!  Orange indicated that the wearer is open to give a kiss and the list goes on and on...  As I read the list, each color surpassed the other in the willingness of the teenagers or young adults to do or try new things at that hormonal imbalanced age.  

   With disbelief I dug myself further in the research and found that the jelly bracelets were around from 1980s! It is kind of a game and snapping others bracelet took the game to a whole new level.  Well, I still need to digest a lot of information about these jelly bracelets of different colors.  Knowledge sometimes can have negative effect on our thinking process.

   Having said that, I think not all kids who wear the bracelets are aware of the meaning of the color distinctions.  It is just a fashion statement and a craze among the young, younger and youngest.  And these days there are so many different color bracelets for so many different cause that I strongly believe that in future each color bracelet would stand for a cause.  Each color will retain it freshness, fairness and pureness.

(Photo from google image)
Just for FYI parents check these site out...
http://www.blurtit.com/q610033.html
http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=shag%20band
 http://wiki.answers.com/Q/What_does_each_color_band_mean

    

   

A Perfect Day

 
  A perfect day can be different for different people. For some a perfect day might be sleeping past morning hours, and relaxing for the rest of the day.  For others it might be getting up early and finishing off all the pending work.  Either way, it is personal perception of being happy.   That what makes one feel happy makes it perfect.  In other words, having all the elements in the day desired by you makes it perfect for you.  If you ask a kid to draw a picture of a perfect day, he or she will most probably include a bright Sun, a beautiful green tree, or a flowing blue river or blue pond with few ducks and maybe a boat.  But, it that a perfect day for everybody?  I wonder what is the criteria for the perfect day that includes all living souls.
   Every minute when one person is happy, one might be sad. When one is born, one dies.  When one smiles, one cries. While one succeeds, the other fails.   One person gains and one loses. One builds and one destroys.  So, is it possible to have a perfect day when everything is perfect for everybody!
   Well, as far as I am concerned, each day is a perfect day. Even a "bad day" is a perfect day. If I didn't fail I wouldn't know the value of success.  If I weren't bruised I wouldn't be able to know the true happiness.  If I wouldn't get angry I wouldn't be able to know the inner calm.  If I weren't hurt I wouldn't be able to feel the love.  Each day is a new day and a perfect day!

  

Can you hear me?

I called for you when I was sick

I called for you when I was weak

Under four layers of blanket

when I was shivering I called for you...

Could you hear me?

You nourished me in your womb

you bought me to life

you showed me the path

You taught me to listen...

Did you hear my call?

I lie down and feel the warmth

In pain I twist and turn 

I need you by my side

I need your gentle care.

I yell for you in my sleep...

Did you hear my screams?

Sweat trickles down my hair

I feel unsettled

Worrying about you

Thinking about you

I feel restless...

Are you happy? 

Are you at peace?

Are you there? 

Can you hear me?

Answer me mom...

Planning - not a Libra thing!

   Last week was kind of busy.  I am surprised I got time to breath and am still alive!  Not that I was on my toes physically but it was the mental worry that drained me down.  Being a Libra, I am exhausted when I have to decide on something.  I see both the positive and negative things and try to weigh in all the advice given to me and then finally I get confused and mentally drain out still unable to take a concrete decision. Age is playing a role too.  I think...When I was younger, I did what I wanted and never thought about anything or anybody. It was easier for me to do things my way or no way! As I grew older I realized the importance of people in life.  I started to think about what they would like and started to do some things their way.  After kids, my whole world started revolving around them.  Most of my time was taken by them and I started doing whatever they liked.  I don't know whether it is the women thing or the Libra thing.  But my life started revolving around my family.  And if there is a birthday in the house.  I try to make sure that I do what they like to do on that day and make it as pleasant to them as possible...Well, recently it was my son's birthday! And he is a Libra too! Everyday his place of party changed, everyday he wanted different people to come to his party. Everyday it was a different theme.  Planning a party for him is exhausting! I had to change my plans three times.  It was taking a mental toll on me.  My husband being from Mars and I from Venus was very little help.  He knows that I take care of each and every detail so he presents the most carefree, happy and nothing bothers him type personality.  "Don't worry things will get done" he said to me.  And I trusted him!!!  And nothing got done.  It was already his birthday week with no place booked, no menu decided and no guest invited!  I started loosing my cool and loosing my mental balance.  And trust me if a Libra looses her balance it is not a good thing.  I had no clue where to start and what to do.  I went blank and couldn't think. Gathering all the strength I started searching for party places. I was worried all the places would be booked. Thankfully, I could find a place and I booked it even though it was not the one I would have, if I had planned earlier.  But on the other hand, I was happy that at least I could find a decent venue.  Without further delay invitations were sent out and then came the time for menu.  My sweet, helping hubby offered that he would take care of it. I felt relieved and was starting to get my balance back.  I started focusing on other things for the party.  Little did I remember that we were from different planets and are total different species.  Just a night before the party I got the news that no food was ordered.  I just laughed out loud in disbelief.  Thankfully this time, the Libra's balance was leaning more towards the positive side.  I could think and act and got everything under control. 
  All is well that ends well.  The ups and downs of my scale found the balance and my son had a blast and enjoyed his birthday more than any other times.  I had broad smile across my face.  But one thing I realized in this process that planning in short notice is not a Libra thing - at least not for this Libra!