Phone

  

    Today the shrill ring of the phone woke me up.  Half asleep I took a peek at the clock.  It was 5.30 a.m.  My heart skipped a beat.  Is everything fine back at home?  My mind started racing worried with all the worst possible things that could have happened.  People don't call at this hour until and unless it is important.  What happened?  It might have been just a couple of seconds but I could picture all my near and dear ones  in my head.  I start blabbering prayers to God.  "God please!  Let it not be a shattering  news" 

   I still remember, just like yesterday, when I got a call from my brother saying that my mom was admitted in the hospital.  I was shocked as I had talked to her just the day before!  Not even in my dreams did I think that that was the last time I was hearing her voice.   Being half way across the world I felt helpless, feeble, vulnerable that I couldn't rush back home...run to my mothers' open arm.  All my insecurities came back to me in a splash of a second.  

    I started doubting our decision to leave our country in the first place.  My husband and I thought we would stay for couple of years and go back to our roots.  What if something happened and I couldn't go immediately?  I could feel my knees getting weak.  I tried to sit up on my bed but couldn't even move an inch.  I forced my hands to reach the phone.

   My hands started shaking, I was terrified to even answer the phone.  Sree Rama Rameti.....and I couldn't even remember the next word of the prayer that I go over in my head everyday at least a couple of dozens of time.  I let it ring for couple of more times trying to remember the next word. Frustrated at myself I lift the phone.  "Hello." 

(photo courtesy google image)