Simply having children does not make mothers.

Being the eldest one in the family is not easy.   I remember my elder brother took most of the blame and scolding for our naughty behavior.  He was the one who was responsible for everybody's (siblings) action even though he was a kid himself.  I was the third of the siblings and I hardly felt the burden.  I was carefree and did whatever I felt like. In other words, I was stubborn and very mischievous.  Little did I understand why my elder brother would get worried and warn me on several occasion when I was up to something.   Most of the time, my parents held him responsible for most of our actions and say,"You are the eldest and you should understand."  Well, today, when I see my daughter being the eldest I try not to blame her for any of my lil' one's actions.  However, unconsciously at times, I feel that I might be holding her responsible for my son's behavior.  Is it the parent thing?  I don't know.  I feel that sometime when the two are arguing, it easier to tell the elder one to keep quite rather than try to explain the younger one why he has to be quite. Especially when you are behind wheels and need the least distraction from the passengers.  I know it is not the right thing to do but do I have a choice?  I feel that the elder one is more matured and is capable of listening to directions than the younger one.  Today was one of those days when I lost my patience.  I was driving with my two kids arguing about God knows what.  They were loud and the elder one kept telling something to the younger one and at one time the little one got so out of control that he tried opening his seat belt.  Well did I mention that I was driving in a packed road!  Even after couple of my warnings they continued their argument. I lost my patience and directly addressed my elder one to behave herself and stop the argument at once.  There was pin drop silence.  The argument stopped and I was at peace.  It took almost half an hour to beat the traffic and come to the clear road.  After we reached home I asked my elder one what the problem was and why was she being so immature?  With tears in her eyes she replied, "He took my homework folder and was scribbling on it.  Now I have to do my homework all over again."  I felt so guilty that even now I am cursing myself.  

Simply having children does not make mothers.  ~John A. Shedd 

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